


The Return

by hutchabelle



Category: Josh Hutcherson - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:17:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchabelle/pseuds/hutchabelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liv broke up with her boyfriend Josh with the intention of working on her career, but then she sees him while he's filming in Hawaii.  It doesn't take her long before she realizes she wants him back and she has no qualms using her assets to accomplish her goal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Return

I glanced up from my book just in time to see him walk by. I gave an involuntary grunt at the amount of sexual tension I felt when I watched his glorious ass move further down the beach. With my mouth hanging open slightly, I reached up with my right hand to pull my sunglasses down the bridge of my nose and peered over them.

“Damn, that is a fine specimen of man flesh,” I muttered to myself.

My best friend chuckled from next to me. “You sorry you let him go?” When I snapped at her to shut up, she laughed again and pressed harder. “Well, come on, Liv. He was a great boyfriend. You’re an idiot for walking away from him.”

I glanced at her with distaste. Kerrie always knew how to piss me off. “I hate you,” I growled, but she wasn’t having any of it.

“You’re the idiot here; not me. I would have ridden that train until he threw me out,” she admitted before returning to her magazine, flipping a page every so often.

My eyes returned to my ex-boyfriend’s form. Josh and I had dated for a few months right before his acting career exploded with the press junket for  _The Hunger Games_. I was the last relationship he had before his interviewers started telling him to enjoy being single while he was young. Every time I heard those comments, I wanted to throw something at the radio, but I had only myself to blame.

Honestly, I had no idea I’d miss him so much when I told him it was time for us to move on. I wasn’t really thinking about how much I’d miss his body, his presence, his voice, his touch when I said goodbye.

I was stupid. I admit it.

_Can I have him back now?_

My eyes clung to his distant form, and I observed with appreciation the way his torso tapered to his waist and the roundness of his ass that gave him a delightful curve before his muscular thighs filled out the rest of his red, white, and blue board shorts. The tight black rash guard clung to the muscles in his back and hugged the curve of his biceps and traps, and his strong hands with those gorgeous fingers that used to splay across my naked body gripped his surfboard. The fact that he was carrying it on his head instead of under his arm made me grin because Josh hardly ever did things the way you’d expect, but somehow whatever he did turned out to be right.

As I watched him walk into the frothy waves at the water’s edge, I noticed how dry my mouth had gotten as I examined him and how wet my bikini bottoms had become.

Without any warning, my mind returned to the last time we’d been together before I broke it off. I remembered the way his naked torso glistened with sweat as the sun flittered through the blinds and into his bedroom. His face relaxed in bliss, my fingers running over his pecs as I rode him. His eyes rolled back in his head as he moaned my name and his long fingers dug into my hips as he helped me raise and lower myself up and down on his rigid cock.

“Oh, fuck, Liv!” he’d cried as I screamed my pleasure. He’d hit just the right spot and I came repeatedly, my head thrown back and my hands moving from his body to mine. I gripped my right breast with one hand and fisted my hair hard with my left, my body convulsing on top of him while he drove upward into me until he found his own release.

Josh had a way of grunting his pleasure in between soft moans that grew in volume until he exploded with a chorus of, “Oh fuck! Oh god! Oh yeah! Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, Liv!” as his orgasm erupted from him. It was always the same. I always knew when he was going to lose it because his volume grew to a near-shout and his face showed a look of pure supplication as he let go. He always looked so vulnerable, so young, yet so masculine and sexy, that I felt oddly protective of him at the same time I wanted to handcuff him to the bed and pleasure him until he begged me to stop.

But after was the best. He always gathered me to him, no matter how rushed he was and kissed me senseless, his hands running gently through my hair and down my back before he cupped my face in his beautiful hands.

And just like the words that dropped from his lips when his orgasm hit, he always said the same words post-coitus. “I love you so much. You make me feel so good.” And he always said it with his eyes locked on mine.

I still have no idea why I thought leaving him was a good idea. My only excuse was that I was young at the time, only 22, just graduating from college and about to take on the world. He was 19 and about to become a huge star. I thought I needed time to focus on me and my career, but I’d spent more time watching his explode into mega-stardom than I’d done with my own.

When I’d seen him from afar two days prior, I was shocked. Kerrie and I were on a quick vacation to Hawaii, neither of us with any idea that Josh was there working on the vastly anticipated sequel to  _The Hunger Games_. He hadn’t glanced my direction when I gasped, but I’d hidden behind a plant in the lobby anyway until he was out of sight.

Seeing him on the beach made me want to rekindle what we’d had.

“Just go talk to him when he’s back on dry land, Liv,” Kerrie suggested with a hint of impatience. “What’s the worst that could happen? He ignores you?”

No, ignoring wouldn’t be the worst. Outright rejection would be. He hadn’t taken it very well when I walked out.

I spent the better part of the next hour watching his form in the waves. His body still mesmerized me, the way he held himself with such easy confidence but with an open stance that everyone felt welcome to talk to him. He was such a happy person and the way his shoulders hunched when he laughed made my heart ache.

Yes, I definitely missed him.

As the sun sank lower in the sky, Josh and his friends headed in and prepared to leave the beach for the day. Frantically, I tried to think of an excuse to approach him until I realized they were walking straight toward me.

When he was a few feet away, Kerrie cleared her throat loudly and Josh glanced in our direction. When he saw me, his face lit up in a huge smile, and he stopped abruptly to talk.

“Liv! Kerrie! How are you?” he practically gushed.

Taken aback by his sincerity, I swallowed hard before I could force a response. “G-g-good,” I managed to stutter before he laughed and sank down next to me on the beach.

“Go ahead, guys. I’ll catch up with you later,” he told his companions and then proceeded to turn his full charm on me.

“You look great, Liv! So good. How’ve you been? How’s your job? How are you?” he asked, one sentence followed in rapid succession by another.

I stared at him in confusion before Kerrie laughed at me. “Oh, Josh. It’s good to see you again. You’ve left her speechless.”

I turned to glare at her, but she simply grinned at me, patted him on the back and gathered her stuff.

“See you later,” she threw over her shoulder as she left us alone.

My pride was screaming at me not to throw myself at him, but the way his arm was slung over his knee and his crooked smile spread across his face as he looked at me was my undoing.

“God, I’ve missed you, Josh,” I blurted. “I was really stupid to let you go.”

His right eyebrow arched up over his sunglasses, and I cursed myself silently.

I gulped and tried to salvage a little of my pride. “You look great, Josh. Really, really great. I’m really happy things are going so well for you.”

“Thanks,” he drawled with a hint of his Kentucky twang, and then he sat back and appraised me. I crossed my arms nervously over my bare stomach and tried to smile in his direction.

With a slight shake of his head, he pulled off his sunglasses and looked directly at me. “Want to get out of here and find someplace more private?” he asked.

“Really?” I choked out, unable to believe what I wanted so badly might actually be his suggestion.

“Fuck yes, Liv,” he spit out in his low, gravelly voice. “Haven’t you missed how we used to make each other feel?”

A rush of heat shot through me at his words, and I reached down to throw my towel and book in my bag. Grabbing my sarong, I wrapped it loosely around my hips and reached my hand out to pull him to his feet.

“Let’s go,” I demanded as his hand shifted to cover mine and his dark eyes held mine, just inches from my face. I felt his hip press into me just slightly and then his left hand snuck around my back to rub the skin at the small of my back. He dipped his middle finger down beneath my cover-up and under the top of my bikini bottoms to dip into the crease between my buttocks. He gave a quiet growl as I shifted back into his hand before remembering we were on a public beach and pulling away.

Josh turned me quickly and let his arm fall down so his hand cupped my left ass cheek before he pinched me. I jumped slightly but relaxed when that same arm guided me toward the nearest resort hotel and into the elevator. As the doors slid shut, his arms engulfed me, and he ran those glorious hands of his from my shoulders, across my breasts, and down to my stomach. Gripping my hips in both hands, Josh dipped his head to breathe his words into my right ear.

“Do you think I can still make you moan my name, Liv?”

In answer, a soft groan escaped me as his tongue ran along my jawline. My fingers entwined in his hair, as I managed to gasp, “Oh, Josh…yes.”

The elevator pinged as it reached his floor, and Josh drew back with a satisfied smirk. “Good. I plan to make that happen a few times.”

I jumped as his left hand swatted my ass as he left the elevator. When I stayed where I was, he turned around and appraised me with humor. “You coming, sexy?” he asked.

I couldn’t help but think how sexy he is when he’s so damn confident. He knew I missed him, and he was going to get what he wanted from me. I didn’t blame him for taking advantage of the situation. I just hoped I didn’t hurt too badly when he kicked me out afterward. I didn’t deserve much else from him after I broke his heart.

I nodded silently at him, and he held out his hand to me. I tried to hold mine steady as I reached for his and felt it slide over mind securely.

He pulled his key card out of his back pocket and slipped it in the door to his hotel room. His eyes lifted to mine in anticipation as he pulled me gently but firmly into his suite and closed the door.

As the door clicked shut, he turned to me and pulled me close against him, his arms firmly around me. He inhaled as he put his chin down on my head and pushed me back against the door.

“Fuck, Liv. You still smell so good. Like coconut and sex,” he gasped, his hands twitching the way they did before he figured out which body part to touch first.

At the word sex, my back hit the door and his full body pressed hard against mine. His lips dipped to my neck, and I felt a stirring so intense between my legs I pushed forward into his groin.

His reaction was immediate.

With a noise I hadn’t heard from him since we’d been intimate, I felt his erection grow so fast I pulled my head back in shock.

“Josh,” I begged. “Oh, god, please.”

I ran my hand down his chiseled abdomen to the button on his shorts and blindly opened them while my eyes watched his darken to near black. Pushing his shorts down past his hips, I flipped us so he was against the door and sank to my knees in front of him.

“Liv…” he groaned as I took him in my mouth and sucked lightly on the tip while my hand grasped him and gave a quick jerk without much pressure—just enough to make his breath hitch as his head fell back against the door.

“Fuck, yes,” fell from his lips as I took him deeper in my mouth, tasting the salt from the ocean on his skin. The flavor made me hungry for him, and I pulled him further in and sucked from the back of my throat until I could hear whimpers of pleasure from the back of his.

His fingers curved into my hair, tugging and caressing my scalp as I worked his cock as deeply as I could. I popped my mouth off him and moved to lick the shaft from his balls to the tip before moving slowly back down and then up again several more times. His hips twitched, so I moved to suck one of his balls deep into my mouth and breathed out. His hands pushed my head toward him in approval, and I repeated the action on the other side.

“Oh fuck, Liv!” he managed to say before I took him back in my mouth and sucked him again. My tongue licked the underside of his dick, teasing the tip, while the suction from the back of my throat pulled him deeper inside me.

“Oh fuck!” he called out, his head pressed tightly against the door, his hands holding me down against him, his fingers gripping my hair so tightly it pulled enough to stretch my scalp.

“Oh god! Oh yeah!” His voice rose in volume, and I fondled his balls as I continued so suckle him. I couldn’t get enough of him; the salt from the ocean made him taste delicious.

I felt his body tense and his cock twitch in my mouth when he yelled, “Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, Liv!” and exploded inside me. Four hot spurts of his cum hit the back of my throat, and I struggled to swallow them as he bucked into me hard several times. “Oh…yes. Oh god, yes…” he kept moaning as my mouth cocooned him with hot wet moisture.

He didn’t stop pushing into my mouth so I used my saliva and his release to provide more lubrication. His thrusts were erratic, and his hands held me down to him long past when his orgasm had passed.

Gently, I pulled back and let his softening cock slide slowly out of my mouth until just the tip remained. When I closed my mouth and sucked gently, he released another groan of my name and started to sink to the floor.

I released him quickly and caught him as he allowed himself to fall. I knew he’d need some time to recover—he always did after he came—but I wasn’t about to have him do that at the door to the hallway. I was sure we’d already been heard if anyone had been walking by, but that didn’t mean I wanted to advertise the rest of it.

I grinned happily to myself when I realized he still yelled the exact same thing when he came. I hoped to hear it a few more times before our time was over.

I caught him under the arms and teased, “Oh no, you don’t, Josh. We’re not done.”

I pulled him into the main room and pushed him back on the bed so he could relax while he watched me undress. I untied the sarong first and let it fall to my feet and ran my left hand along my thigh. His eyes narrowed and heat lit them as he watched my fingers run up my body to untie the bow of my bikini top. I pulled the string slowly and let the material sag away from my breasts as the tension released. Another quick pull and the top hit the floor too.

Josh’s board shorts lay in the hallway where he kicked them off as I guided him to the bed, but the black rash guard still covered his chest. Below it, I could see him start to harden again as I ran my hands across my breasts and kneaded them slightly. I was delighted to see that his short recovery time hadn’t lengthened in the year since we’d been apart.

“Take off your shirt,” I told him in my husky voice, deepened with desire.

I admired the way his muscles bunched under his skin as he threw off his shirt. My mouth watered at his fully naked body reclined on the bed watching me.

I yanked my bikini bottoms down, done trying to seduce him and launched myself at him, too worked up to try to make it last longer.

And suddenly we were kissing again, his mouth slanted across mine and his tongue plunging into my mouth to rub against the roof as we moaned into each other. His arms held me tightly, one pulling me securely up against him as his other hand kneaded my ass.

I shifted my legs so my wet heat left some moisture on his thigh, and his dick stiffened more fully. He pulled me up so my pussy covered his balls, the length of his cock pressed against my pelvis. A low moan reverberated through him as I pressed down against him. His fingers fisted in my hair pulling my mouth tighter against his and his hips jerked against mine.

This felt so right, so good after our time apart. I wanted him back.

With a groan he pulled my mouth away from his with a gentle tug of my hair and looked at my face. I was breathing hard and grinding against him, my eyes slightly glazed and lust covering my features.

“Did you miss me, Liv?” he asked. “Do you regret letting me go?”

“God, baby, yes. Yes, I miss you. I was so stupid to let you go.” I was almost embarrassed at how needy I sounded when I admitted it, but it was the truth.

At my confession, he shifted me and slid into me so that my heat encased his erection. We moaned together from satisfaction, and he groaned, “I missed this.”

He filled me completely, my body pulsing on top of him. His head leaned against the pillow and head board and I lifted my body so I was straddling him again, just like the last time we’d done this. His hands moved to grip my hips, and we settled into the familiar rhythm like we’d never been apart.

I raised myself slightly and slid back down until I felt him fully inside me again. My breath escaped me in a ragged gasp as his cock rubbed me just the right way. His hands helped lift me up higher until just the tip remained inside, and I sank down onto him again.

“Oh god…” It came out as a high pitched plea as my pussy contracted around him.

His eyes stared at my breasts as they bounced with the rhythm. Soft noises of pleasure escaped him as he helped guide me up and down, over and over, as my arousal covered him in a wet, sticky mess.

My hands ran over my own body continuously. I was so turned on I couldn’t stop touching every place I wanted Josh’s hands. He kept his on my hips, refusing to touch me except to help me ride him.

I lost track of time, but I knew the minutes were ticking away as the sun filtered through the shears he’d drawn across the balcony windows. Long strips of light crossed his chest and gave him a golden glow, which made me roll my hips against him harder, producing more wails of pleasure from me and low grunts of “fuck!” from him.

And then it started again.

“Oh fuck, Liv!” he panted as my walls squeezed him again.

I was mewling incoherently, my pleasure so great I felt like I was going to shatter into a million pieces and be carried off by the wind.

His eyes squeezed shut as he thrust up against me. “Oh fuck!” The words ripped from his chest in a growl.

I was practically bouncing up and down on him at that point, desperate for my release. I heard myself shouting, “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh” every time his cock hit inside me, and I knew I wasn’t going to hold on much longer.

“Oh god!” he groaned loudly as he pushed his head back into the pillow and his pelvis up so his cock sunk deeper into me.

My head lolled back, my mouth open and panting, but I managed to shout, “Oh god, Josh, yes! Yes! Please, baby!”

I reached my right hand down to rub my clit furiously. It was throbbing, and I heard and felt the man underneath me lose himself.

“Oh fuuuuuuuuuck, Liv!” he yelled so loudly it echoed around the room as he poured into me and ground my hips into him.

I rubbed myself faster and screamed his name as my walls tightened, my body stiffened on top of him, and I came. My hips rocked against him several more times as I rode out my orgasm, so intense that fluid flowed from me and dampened the dark hair surrounding his dick. His arms lifted me and lowered me twice more until we both stilled, and I felt myself falling forward onto his damp chest and into his strong arms.

His heartbeat raced for several more minutes. The two of us released small moans as we enjoyed the aftershocks. It took several more minutes to gain our breath, panting in the meantime.

I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent, the salt from his time surfing making him smell deliciously briny. Softly, I kissed his chest several times until I felt his fingers moving through my hair and along my spine.

Lifting my head, I gazed into his face, his dark eyes serious but slightly dazed by what we’d done.

“Josh,” I started softly.

“Don’t, Liv. Don’t say anything,” he ordered.

Swallowing hard, I implored him with my eyes to understand.

“I shouldn’t have left,” I whispered. “I shouldn’t have.”

“But you did,” he returned, his voice tight.

My eyes shifted downward in sadness. “I know,” I whispered.

I settled my head on his chest again, knowing better than to hope anything other than for him to not kick me out on my ass.

His hands ran up and down my back for another few minutes, and then I heard him take a deep breath.

“But you’re here now,” his voice rumbled.

Cautiously, I agreed. “Yes. I am.”

“Want to order room service and go at it again in a little while?” he almost whispered, his mouth ghosting over my hair.

I raised my head to look at him again and saw that his eyes were open, no signs of ulterior motives hidden in those hazel depths.

With a small grin, I agreed. “Oh god, yes, Josh!”


	2. Come Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv and her ex-boyfriend Josh are back in part 2 of The Return. Find out what happens when Josh asks Liv to stay for dinner.

“Oh god, yes…”

His moan of satisfaction reverberated through my body as he licked his fork, and I watched the tip of his tongue gliding over the smooth metal surface. Feeling a little silly for finding that erotic, I blushed slightly and dropped my gaze to my lap.

“Fuck…  I wish I had more,” Josh gasped as he finished his pasta, and I saw a little of the alfredo sauce dribble down his chin.

Thankfully, we’d had some drinks in the room from Josh’s personal alcohol stash while waiting for dinner, and I was feeling a little more brazen than normal. What else could explain why I’d agreed to dine in the nude with him after room service delivered the trays?

“You can have more, Josh,” I uttered in throaty suggestion as I wiped the thick white substance from his face with my finger and then touched it to the tip of my tongue and sucked.

“Liv…”

He didn’t seem to be able to finish a sentence this evening, and I was hoping to keep him that worked up. He’d always loved my body, curves and all, and now I was using it to get what I want.

I stood up and leaned over him with the pretense of removing the tray, but I made sure to push my breasts forward so they’d swing right in his line of vision. It was good for my ego to see the room service tray had been hiding the fact that his dick was semi-hard, and I groaned internally when he moved his right hand to lightly grip himself, the tips of his fingers combing the hair in which his cock nestled.

_Be careful, Liv. Don’t let him think he’s in control. You already put that in his head this afternoon. Get the upper hand._

I tried to warn myself that one good afternoon with amazing sex and an invitation to stay for dinner was hardly the beginning of the repair our relationship needed if we were planning to get back together, but I didn’t want to _not_  go for it either.

With that in mind, I lowered the tray so he could more clearly see how tight my nipples were and turned to walk the tray into the kitchenette. Exaggerating much more than needed, I made a show of bending over the counter so he could see what I looked like from behind.

I heard a slight rustle from him and turned to see him jerking a little harder, his hand still grasping his hardening cock while the other slid down to cup his balls. His eyes shone as he locked his to mine, and he emitted a long, low noise that showed his pleasure.

I moved back toward him but stopped to lean against the bar and watch him work himself.

He started to speak, but I stopped him with a sharp command.

“Don’t talk, Josh. Shut your mouth while you’re jacking off. I want to see if you can actually do it.”

His eyes darkened and narrowed slightly as he pulled a little harder. He hated to be ordered to do anything.

“I bet you can’t keep from screaming my name,” I taunted him. “You know you want to.”

With that, Josh snapped his mouth shut firmly, and his arm pumped slightly faster, his left hand continuing to cup and pull on his balls.

I pulled a chair around so I could see him clearly and threw my right leg over the arm so my slit was exposed to him. Watching him tug and pull and jerk himself made me wetter as I watched, but I was careful not to let my hands wander into the puddle of moisture between my legs.

I wanted his pleasure to be paramount in my mind before I allowed myself to slip my fingers into the slippery liquid and feel the ecstasy that would come. He needed to know that I could keep making him happy so he’d come back to me.

_Use sex, Liv. It’s your best tool._

Josh’s mouth opened just slightly, enough for me to know he was feeling waves of pleasure wash over him. He remained silent, but the strain showed on his face as it registered a yearning so intense, I feared he’d stop breathing. The glazed eyes and slack mouth made me want to pull him close as he released.

Josh continued to work feverishly, his right arm jerking while the fingers flexed and tightened on his cock. The only sound was his hand tugging on his skin and the pants that escaped him. I was impressed he was silent, since he never had been before when he climaxed.

I knew him well enough to know his pattern—especially after the reminder this afternoon when I gave him head against the hotel door and then rode him on the bed.

If he talked right now, he’d be at full volume. His eyes were half closed as he lowered his chin and picked up the pace.

My legs twitched in response as I watched, eager to see him shatter and cover himself with his satisfaction, and I let my hand slip down to where I wanted to explode.

Josh’s eyes shifted to me just as my fingers disappeared in my wet folds, and a look of surrender flashed across his face. His slack mouth shifted slightly to an animalistic pant as he watched my fingers swirl in the dampness and my eyes lose some focus.

His dark eyes, locked so intently on my body as we pleasured ourselves, pulled small whimpers from my throat that caused his hips to jerk reflexively. He had always loved the sounds I made when I came—mostly quiet gasps and pants until I released in a moan that sometime turned to a high scream. They were such feminine sounds compared to his masculine outbursts, and he reveled in me matching a softer side with his intensity.

My fingers dipped in again to move the way I knew would draw out those sounds. I needed to play this perfectly in order to get him back. He’d always been so stubborn, so convincing him he needed me had to be the way to draw him back in. He’d never give me another chance if he focused on what he’d thought had been an immature decision to leave him.

When I could tell he was just seconds away from ejaculating, I choked out, “I’m going to lick you clean, baby. Let it go.”

Josh left hand tightened on his balls, his legs locked, and he threw his head back into the pillow as his right hand jerked three more times and he spurted onto his stomach. I groaned at the sight of his eyes squeezed closed and his mouth open in a silent scream as he pumped a few more times and two more thick streams shot out and pooled on his torso.

Josh’s strangled moan emerged as his hand loosened and tugged twice more slowly until his fingers relaxed completely and he held his softening dick in his hand.

Quickly, I moved to clean him, using small caresses and gentle touches which resulted in plenty of him on my own body, something I found incredibly erotic.

When I couldn’t take the frustration anymore, I grabbed a bottle of coconut oil from my bag licked a streak where he’d released and followed my tongue with a thick stream of liquid. Before it could drip down his sides, I lay across him and massaged the oil between us. My breasts slid slickly against his pecs, and his hands gripped my hips so I could stay on top of him.

“Your turn, Liv,” he told me huskily.

My eyes questioned him, but he didn’t back down.

“Now. Right where you are.”

Realizing my attempts to control the situation were merely illusions, I obeyed him, hoping that would be more convincing than brazenly parading the goods.

I reached in between our slick bodies and gave in to the pleasure, my fingers caressing my nub so my muscles tensed and bunched against him. The noises coming from me were genuine, and he seemed to respond better to that.

When I released, Josh pressed his stomach against me to catch the fluid, and our slickened bodies stilled together. I rested my head under his chin, my cheek pressed to the oil on his chest. Josh pressed a quick kiss to my hair before his breathing evened out, and I could tell he was sleeping from the soft snuffle he released each time his chest rose and fell.

The alarm clock on the bedside table showed 11:30, only thirty minutes until midnight. I’d been with him for not quite eight hours, and I’d managed to bring him to climax three times. Surely he realized we had a special chemistry. Surely he understood that I could make him feel better than any of the other women he’d been around lately. If only he would concentrate on that instead of the heartbreak he’d suffered when I walked away.

I shifted off him to his side and felt his left arm curl up around my body. He roused slightly to smile at me but slipped back into his dreams after a few minutes. I stayed in his arms, alternately cursing myself for my stupidity and praying for Josh to forgive me.

Silently, I recalled every time I’d tried to manipulate Josh during our relationship and realized each one of them had included a sexual overture. I got so used to using sex to get what I wanted with him, I’d forgotten how to talk to him, to share my days with him. That was the reason when I realized I was graduating from college and heading out into an unknown future, I’d convinced myself he and our relationship would hold me back.

At first, I’d been convinced I was right, but then I’d remembered how Josh had tried to ask me what my plans were, how he’d tried to support me, but I’d pushed him away emotionally and had stripped in front of him to distract him. After a while, he’d gotten the hint that I wasn’t in the mood to talk—ever.

Josh wasn’t a pet, but I’d certainly tried to train him. Learned behavior and all that.

The problem was now that I didn’t know how to put that aside and get back to encouraging him to respond to me emotionally, and even if I could, why would he want to? He wasn’t my boyfriend anymore. He didn’t have to listen to me about my day. When he’d approached me on the beach earlier today, our conversation lasted less than five minutes before he asked me to leave with him. He hadn’t forgotten that sex in lieu of communicating was my default.

My chest constricted tightly as I analyzed everything I could remember from our relationship. I became more and more convinced that pushing him away was too much for us to overcome and losing him would be the biggest regret of my life.

Josh’s body twitched underneath mine, and I felt a grunt reverberate through his chest. His legs rubbed against mine, and he pulled me slightly closer. Running my hand up his torso one last time, I eased myself away from him and stood up. He moved restlessly, and I watched him quietly before pulling the sheet to cover him from the waist down. 

His expression in sleep broke my heart. Josh was always so intense, so passionate, so purposeful. When he slept was the only time he allowed his face to reflect the softness that made him so likeable.

Swallowing the affection I felt, I bent to pick up a white t-shirt he’d dropped near the balcony door and slipped it over my head. As carefully and quietly as I could, I slid the door open and stepped onto the balcony.

The air caressed my skin and gently lifted the hair from my neck. The concrete felt like fine grain sandpaper against my bare feet, and I enjoyed the heat leftover from the day’s sun leeching from the floor.

Refusing to allow myself to worry anymore, I gave in to memories of us together instead. Our first kiss; the way his hand felt against my back when he pulled me toward him; his laugh when we threw a football to each other on the beach; his tenderness when we tried to cook together and I burned myself. He’d covered the burn with a dish towel full of ice and kissed my cheeks gently until my tears slowed.

More erotic images floated to the forefront. Images of him washing his body through the shower curtain as I brushed my teeth in the doorway; watching movies on the couch until we lost our interest in the films and discovered each other instead; sneaking into a back bedroom at a friend’s party and christening the bedroom wall.

When my grandfather died, he held me until I stopped trembling and then gave me a set of dishes to shatter against the fireplace in order to ease my hurt and anger. When I cut myself helping him clean up, he carefully bandaged my thumb, kissed it, and made me forget the emotional and physical pain in the most erotic way that I still blushed when I thought about it.

My best friend Kerrie was right. I was stupid to let him go. I was equally as stupid to think sex would get him back. Josh deserved better.

I jumped as Josh’s hand landed on my bare right thigh. Nuzzling into my ear, he quietly complained, “You always used to leave me when I slept. I always woke up to an empty bed. I see that hasn’t changed.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I forgot how much you hate that. I wasn’t thinking.”

Josh chuckled and lowered his voice as he pulled me back against him. “I know you’ll make it up to me. Otherwise, you’d be wearing more than just my shirt.”

I felt Josh’s right hand snake under the hem of his t-shirt I was wearing and begin to stroke the curls close to my clit. He was being purposefully ornery because he’d reach just to the edge of my slit and pull back without touching me.

After several minutes of his teasing, I snapped at him.

“Fucking tease.”

My tone wasn’t amused, but Josh’s low moan rumbled through his chest and tickled my back since it was pressed against him.

His mouth slid down to my left ear, and he kissed the lobe before releasing a command in a breathy voice, the temperature of his breath sending a surge of desire from my ear down to my left nipple.

“Put your hands on the balcony railing, Liv.”

The sternness in his voice raised goose bumps over the left side of my body.

“Look out over the water, Liv. It’s so dark out there,” he muttered. “No moon. Gorgeous stars, but not enough so that anyone can see us here on this balcony. Practically naked…and fucking.”

“Josh!” My voice came out as a wail as the tip of his index finger finally glided against my clit.

He immediately jerked away and whispered seductively, “Shhh, baby. Let me make you feel good, but nothing louder than whimpers and moans. Purr for me, sexy.”

At his last sentence, he slipped two fingers into my sopping pussy and caressed me gently, lovingly, so that I lost all hope of maintaining control over my thoughts.

“That’s right, baby. Moan for me, but keep your hands on the railing.”

I gripped the railing tightly as I felt the warm, velvety skin of his dick pressing between my ass cheeks. He pulled back just slightly, and I gasped.

“Please… Oh god, please,” I moaned so softly I wasn’t sure he heard.

“Yes, Liv. Take me in. Let me in,” he begged in a groan, and my heart tore at the plea he’d given the night I’d walked out.

Josh’s hands guided my hips back against him and the tip of his dick pushed into my pussy.

“Oh… Oh god. Oh, Josh, baby…”

Maybe it was too late, but I was going to let him in.

“Open up, Liv. Open up,” he instructed and pushed my legs open wider so he could sink into me.

My back arched as his head hit my walls. He pulled back and then slid forward slowly, pushing further into me and letting me adjust to his size.

A whimper fell from my mouth as I felt him pull out again and then push forward until my ass hit his pelvis with only the softest of sounds.

“Your skin slapping against mine is so hot, Liv,” he grunted through what sounded like gritted teeth.

He stopped mid thrust and sank back into me, stopping then to push the t-shirt slowly up my back to expose the skin there. His fingers lingered as he uncovered me, pulling the shirt over my head and letting it pool on my wrists since both hands remained locked on the railing.

Josh pressed his chest against my back and slid his left hand up to fondle my breasts as he pulled out and slammed into me again.

“Oh fuck, Liv!” he whispered in my ear.

I locked my elbows and held myself rigid against the railing, willing myself to hold on for as long as I could. Despite the passion, I knew Josh wasn’t planning to allow me back in his life as easily as his cock sank into me. Our time had come and gone. It wasn’t going to come again.

“Josh…” I gasped in panic.

His pace picked up as he pulled back and thrust forward several more times. His mouth released small pants in my left ear, and he groaned, “What, sexy?  Tell me what you want.”

Heat surged through my body because I wanted him. I wanted to tell him I wanted him, but I also wanted so much more. I wanted him for more than a hot night on the balcony. I wanted him for more than the day. I wanted him back.

Feeling him move inside me, his ridges rubbing against my walls so erotically, the warmth of his cock wrapped in my heat, his chest and stomach pressed against my back, the hair on his chest tickling my spine… His arms wrapped securely around me, one arm sliding down so that his left hand covered mine, his fingers intertwined with mine on the railing. His right hand snaked down my body to dip his middle finger so that it grazed my clit just slightly. As he did, a moan erupted from me.

Tears of ecstasy mingled with those that sprang from melancholy feelings. I couldn’t separate the warmth, passion, and sheer pleasure from the feeling of the sea breeze caressing my naked body on the front and his nakedness pressed against my back. Moans, grunts, and groans escaped him and sighs of pleasure escaped me every time he sank into me fully. I kept my eyes fixed on the stars reflected in the waves crashing onto the shore, while I appreciated the scent of the ocean combined with the coconut massage oil we’d kneaded into each other’s skin, just barely covering the musky smell of sex.

My eyes fluttered slightly as I felt a twinge of pleasure so exquisite that I knew Josh would have to cover my mouth to stop the scream when it finally erupted. He was the only one who could make me scream that way.

Josh’s grunts had changed. They seemed to be caught in his throat and his breath hitched each time he sank into me. He thrust forward, and I pushed back against him, my arms helping me remain steady as my legs shook. The slap of our skin shot another surge of heat through me, and my moan tore from my chest.

“Oh god. Yessssss!” I wailed before his hand closed over my mouth and muffled the sounds of my orgasm.

Josh bit down hard on my ear and slammed into me frantically, thrusting his dick in repeatedly as my pussy clamped down. It was so tight that the suction created a sucking sound, and we groaned simultaneously at how erotic it was.

His arms gripped me tightly and pulled me back to cradle me against his chest as he let out in one breath, “Oh fuck, Liv! Oh fuck! Oh god! Oh yeah! Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, Liv!” The words rushed together in a guttural moan. My knuckles turned white as I grasped the railing with every ounce of strength I retained and released a sound that resembled a squeal of pure satisfaction.

My eyes rolled back in my head and my mouth hung open from the intensity of the orgasm. Fluid trickled down my right thigh as Josh pulled out slowly and thrust back in jerking, almost involuntary, motions.

Falling forward against the railing, Josh tightened his arms around me and tucked his right cheek onto my left shoulder blade. My head tilted so that my cheek pressed against the cool railing, and I waited to have the will or strength to speak.

Josh’s breaths escaped in hot pants against my back, and I gasped for air as if I’d run a marathon. My emotions threatened to spill over, and I fought the panic that he’d see my struggle and run from the tears. I wanted to walk away on my own terms.

As my chest heaved in a desperate attempt to relax, Josh’s skilled fingers caressed my skin, and he pressed light kisses to my back.

“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered. “I remember how emotional you got when we had really good sex. You can let it go,” he murmured, practically mirroring my command for him to lose control earlier.

My breath caught, and I waited for more, hoping against hope that Josh’s memory of us was stronger than the time we’d spent apart.

He shuddered and pulled out of me slowly. The sound of him leaving my body was enough to send a tear down one cheek.

“Shhh…” He turned me towards him and folded me into his chest. Josh pressed a light kiss to the hairline on my temple and breathed into my ear, “We can figure it out tomorrow after we’ve slept.”

Lifting my head, I shifted up to stare into his hazel eyes. “You want me to stay?” A small spark of hope made me think I’d been wrong and he would forgive me.

I bit my lower lip in worry as I watched his eyes flit across my face.

“I don’t kick women out after I fuck them.”

Heat surged through me again but this time from embarrassment.

His thumb brushed away the lone tear on my cheek before he suggested, “You can sleep here tonight, but tomorrow we need to discuss what happens if pictures leak of us together. Old flames meeting up in Hawaii? The press will eat that up.”

My shoulders drooped slightly at his words. I knew from his tone that he was problem-solving instead of wondering how his words impacted me. I was the one who’d hoped he’d give me another chance when I’d left him. I had no one to be mad at but myself.

Throwing his arm over my shoulder, he tugged me back inside. The shirt that had been pooled around my wrists fell as we entered the room from the balcony. As the shirt hit the floor, my vulnerability washed over me.

I had opened myself up to Josh again after carefully guarding myself from hoping for forgiveness, and I had lost.

Despite the fact that we were two adults who’d engaged in half a day of sex, I knew my expectations were different than his. Josh pulled me into his arms as he fell into the bed. His hands caressed me intimately as he pressed soft kisses to me. Eventually, his eyes grew heavy, and his hands stilled.

Josh’s rapid breathing eventually slowed as his arms relaxed while we lay on the bed together. I counted five minutes before I disentangled myself from his arms and gathered my belongings. Dressing quietly, I watched Josh sleep for a few seconds before I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and turned away. I slipped into the hallway and walked away from his room.

I pulled my iPhone from my pocket and sent a quick text.

**I want you back. If you want me, I promise next time I’ll stay.**


	3. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv and her ex-boyfriend Josh are back in Stay, the final installment of The Return and its sequel Come Again. Will Josh give Liv another chance and ask her to stay?

The room spun slightly as I watched Liv hover over me, her long, silky hair caressed my chest and her plump lips pursed into a sexy pout. Her gorgeous, heavy breasts hung as she bent over me, and I reached toward her to cup them in my palms.

She pushed them away and instead moved down to take my erect cock in her mouth. The heat and wetness enveloped me, and I groaned loudly, my eyes losing focus. Despite the room continuing to spin, I managed to refocus and watched her lips close over me. Up and down she moved, and my body tensed under her.

Her soft hands fondled me, and I wrapped strands of her hair around both wrists as she sucked. Her tongue drove me wild. The pressure built steadily until I couldn’t stop and hot spurts erupted from me and slid down her throat. Her eyes closed in passion; her face a picture of contentment as she continued to suck. As she popped her mouth off my cock, the room whirled again and she disappeared into a blinding light.

Groaning in frustration, I blinked my eyes and woke to sun streaking in through the hotel’s sliding glass door and an empty side of the bed where Liv was supposed to be.

Fucking dammit!

She left. Again. Every damn time I thought I’d broken through to her, every damn time I thought maybe she was going to let me in, every damn time I got my hopes up, she panicked and ran. Now she’d done it another time.

Every. Damn. Time.

I thought I had it figured out. I thought maybe this time inviting her to stay and letting her know I’d take care of the press issues when we were seen together would convince her that I wanted her back.

I never understood why she ran after sex. Our sex had always been great. We made love, screwed, fucked, and everything in between, so what was she missing?

She always seemed to want physical reassurance that I wanted her, but then as soon as it was over, she’d pull away. Sometimes she mentally pulled away while I was still inside her, just like she’d tried to do last night on the balcony. I thought then that I’d broken through. I wanted to tell her this morning that I wanted to give this another try, and I woke up to an empty bed.

And after yesterday… Her mouth on my cock when she sank to her knees in front of me, her riding me like the last time we’d been together before she dumped me, her leg slung over the chair and her fingers roaming as she watched me jack off, her writhing on top of me when she rubbed one out, and then her plump ass against me as I drove my dick into her on the balcony…

What else did she want that I didn’t give her?

Cursing again in frustration, I threw the sheets off my body and looked at the mess my wet dream had left behind. This hotel must be pretty pissed that they have to change the sheets every damn day. I’ve been horny since I got here. I feel like I’m 15 again with a constant hard-on.

I swiped my phone from the bedside table on the way to the bathroom. Getting my morning wood out of the way with a sex dream made pissing a hell of a lot easier than normal. My shooting schedule allowed for a late call time today, so I hoped to take in the morning view from my balcony. I wanted to relive last night’s scene there a little bit too.

Reluctantly, I looked at the phone screen to see a number of calls and texts I knew I’d have to respond to, but my throat constricted at the sight of Liv’s late night text. She must have sent it just a few minutes after I took her on the balcony in the dark, her skin sliding against mine as the waves crashed to shore, and her moans…

_I need to stop. She walked out._

Leaving the bathroom and flopping down on a chair, I checked her text and wondered how she could possibly make things right after what she did.

**I want you back. If you want me, I promise next time I’ll stay.**

_Oh really, Liv? Really? Do I have to tie you up next time?_

Immediately images flooded through me. The last time I filmed in Hawaii, Liv was supposed to celebrate her birthday. I was shooting in Hawaii for  _Journey 2_ , much like I was doing now for  _Catching Fire_ , but I wanted to let her know how special she was to me. Despite a tight shooting schedule, I flew home for the weekend. I wanted to spend the entire time with her and leave as late as possible on Sunday to get back for filming the next day.

I played it exactly right, showing up on her doorstep while we talked on the phone, both lamenting the fact that we wouldn’t be able to spend her special day together. Her face when she opened to the door to see me on the doorstep was a work of art—pure beauty etched on her expressive face.

After she wiped her happy tears and kissed me a million times, I pulled the single rose from behind my back and she dissolved into hysterics. It was a soft pink rose, an Olivia rose, a special breed from England that I had shipped to LA especially so I could surprise her. I had another three dozen and a bag of rose petals delivered to my house, too, so the house would be set for our after dinner plans.

After I gave her time to get ready, I took her to dinner and watched the sunset glint off her face as we talked and laughed. I missed her when we were apart, and I wanted to figure out how to keep her happy. She was a few years older than me and preparing to graduate from college, a transition I knew terrified her. I hadn’t expected her to run away from me as a result.

But that night was perfect. Her eyes shone softly as the waiter delivered a decadent chocolate dessert and lit the candles for ambiance. Watching her eat the chocolate, her tongue licking the chocolate sauce from the corner of her mouth, her lips sucking the cake from the bowl of the spoon, her eyes closed in contentment… All of her responses resulted in my pants tightening as I watched her enjoy herself so thoroughly.

After dinner, I helped her in my Audi and wound through the streets to my house. It was quiet; everyone else was in Hawaii, so we were completely alone, no family and no roommates to overhear. I asked her to wait on the porch for me as I lit several candles and scattered the Olivia petals down the hall and to the bedroom. I covered the bed in petals while a warm bath ran and scattered petals on the water, adding a few drops of bath oils to enhance the aroma of roses.

It was perfect, and she agreed when I opened the door and invited her in from where I’d left her on the porch.

“Josh! Oh, honey,” she gasped, her eyes sparkling with delighted adoration.

I pulled her close for a kiss, caressed her cheek, and held her to me as I breathed in her feminine scent. She smelled so good, like coconuts and sex, just like she did yesterday in my hotel room.

“Liv, sweetheart, I have a surprise for you,” I breathed as I nuzzled her neck exactly under her ear where I knew she liked it most.

A whimper escaped her, and she went limp in my arms. “I’m yours tonight, baby. Anything you want. I’m so happy you’re home.”

I led her down the hall to the bedroom and slowly undressed her, kissing her bare shoulders and the swell of her breasts as her skin was exposed before me. She strained against me, but I kept it sensual and romantic. Climbing in the warm bath, I settled her in front of me, her back to my chest and relaxed with her in my arms.

We spent the next several minutes discussing our future as the hot water soothed away the tension in our muscles.

“I know things are going to be different after  _The Hunger Games_  releases, Liv. Are you okay with how that’s going to change things?” I ran my fingers up the inside of her right thigh and delighted in the tiny gasps she made at my actions.

“You know I love you, Josh, and I support your career. We’ll be fine,” she assured me.

“What about college? Are you ready to graduate? Do you have some leads for jobs?” I tried to intersperse the questions with kisses in order to lessen the panic I knew she felt about joining what she continually referred to as the “crazy ass adult world.”

“Mmm,” she breathed, a non-committal response at best, but then she covered my hand with hers. I stopped for a second but continued when I realized she was guiding my hand to the heat between her legs.

She sighed deeply when my fingers slipped through her lips and found their way to the sensitive nub there. The bath oils in the water served as a perfect lubricant and my fingers slid inside her, caressing her gently so the coil of emotions could unwind slowly.

“I love you so much,” I whispered to her as my fingers worked their magic.

Her eyes closed and her head lolled back to rest on my right shoulder. Her breath came in gasps, and she whimpered, “I love you, too, Josh.”

Her hips thrusts were tiny, almost imperceptible if I didn’t have my fingers inside her. They were so sexy that I couldn’t stop myself from taking the next step.

My left hand cupped her heavy right breast. A rose petal clung to her nipple and water droplets dripped from it. Beads of moisture slid down the gentle curve to her torso. I ran the tip of my tongue from the hollow of her neck up to her ear, and allowed my hot breath to ghost over her earlobe.

“Liv…”

“Uh huh?” she moaned, almost incoherent.

My lips moved down her neck again, my fingers continued their ministrations. “If these two movies do as well as I hope, I’m going to buy a house.”

“Okay,” she released in a gasp, not yet understanding my meaning but continuing to enjoy what I was doing to her.

I rubbed my palm over her taut nipple and dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “Move in with me,” I implored softly.

I pulled my fingers from her heat and grazed her clit again as I asked, and her response was unearthly. A drawn out moan of “Yes….” fell from her lips as she came, her back arching, her hand shoving my fingers back inside her so her walls clenched down on me, her head pressed back into my shoulder, her breast straining against my hand. The water lapped against the sides of the tub as her body jerked from the orgasm.

Slowly, she floated back to earth, and I took that as my cue to move us to the bedroom. The water was rapidly cooling, and I didn’t want to lose the romance we’d created.

She was limp in my arms as I lifted her out and toweled her off quickly. She raised her arms to me, and I wrapped her legs around my waist and waited for her to grip me before I stood up. I kissed her deeply, my tongue sliding across hers as I arranged her on the bed, the rose petals soft under her and reflecting the pinkish glow of her skin.

I kissed the palm of her hand when she raised it to my cheek. I couldn’t believe how wanton she was being, totally relaxed and in charge of her sexuality.

“How much do you love me?” she asked.

It seemed like an odd question at the time because I thought she already knew, but I answered truthfully. “So much that I want to give you everything tonight. It is your birthday. What’s your birthday wish?”

A slow smile spread across her face, her delight clear. “Will you get my purse, please?”

Confused, but willing, I stood up and retrieved her bag. I watched in disbelief as she pulled out two long deep red strips of cloth and asked me to use them.

“But what are they?” I asked, bewildered.

She giggled a sweet sound and answered, “They’re ties, baby. Just my hands, but will you use them?”

My mouth hung slack for a second at her request, but I nodded eagerly. She raised her arms over her head and watched me silently as I wrapped the cords around her wrists to hold her arms together. I glanced down at her and asked for confirmation before I finished.

“I want this, baby. Please,” she keened.

She knew I couldn’t deny her anything when she looked at me the way she was at that moment, so I lashed the ties to the headboard and sat back to survey her body.

Her raised arms made her tits even more perky and her torso longer since she was stretched out. I still couldn’t quite believe this was real until she hinted at her next request. She simply opened her legs and licked her lips, and I plunged in, my mouth greedy as I lapped at her sweet, clean sex. She tasted like roses.

Liv twisted and writhed beneath me until I was forced to hold her down by wrapping my arms around her thighs and holding them open, my mouth refusing to stop pleasuring her.

She panted and bucked beneath me, moaning my name and pleading with me to make her come.

When I was sure she was close, I eased into her, my groan so loud it resembled a shout as I called out her name. I tried to slow down, but I couldn’t, and I spilled into her after only a few pumps, my mouth releasing a string of expletives mixed with her name.

“Oh fuck! Oh god! Oh yeah! Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, Liv!”

Liv’s response was so sensual, like a cat’s body undulating on the bed as her release poured from her. I’ve never been that turned on again.

Her wrists strained against the red cloth ties, her legs kicked to gain leverage against the mattress, and she mewled her approval as her body clenched and fell limpid. She dozed off almost immediately, looking so peaceful and content my heart ached. I spent several minutes watching her, trying to sear her beauty in my memory forever. I wanted to take a picture, but it seemed wrong somehow since she wasn’t awake to give me the okay.

When she finally shifted, I realized I should untie her. Reaching up to free her, I massaged the pressure marks from her wrists. Happy with the way the night had turned out, I tucked her head under my shoulder and fell asleep.

I wasn’t until she broke up with me later that I realized that was the last weekend she stayed with me the entire time I slept.

Shaking my head, my mind returned the hotel room where she’d left me the night before. I jumped in the shower to cool down, anger and sexual frustration combining to make me hot. After I washed her scent away, I slung on a loose tank top and my board shorts and moved to the balcony. I needed to calm down some more because I was much angrier than I wanted to be about Liv’s abandonment.

I spent the better part of an hour leaning against the balcony, exactly where Liv had clung to it the night before as we coupled. I loved her willingness to try new things, but her tendency to run away every time we got close made me lose hope we’d ever be anything else. I still believed she’d find her way back to me, but it had been almost a year, and we were still apart.

I hated to admit that I missed her since she seemed to be fine without me.

_That’s not true, Josh. She practically begged you to forgive her yesterday. She admitted she was stupid for letting you go._

The logical side of my brain told me that, but the other side picked at my insecurities.

_She still walked away. I made her come on three separate occasions in twelve hours and she still walked away? No way to keep someone like that satisfied._

A slight breeze wafted against my face, and I felt my insecurity rear its ugly head.

_Maybe it’s never been about satisfying her sexually. Maybe it’s something else._

It’s the “something else” that scared me because I had no idea how to do anything other than what I already had.

I tried to be a good boyfriend. I bandaged her wounds, held her when she cried, worked out with her, relaxed with her, took her on dates, stayed in for quiet evenings, bought her gifts, picked a wildflower for her. 

_Maybe I’m just not enough._

I glanced at my phone screen again. Her text mocked me.

**I want you back. If you want me, I promise next time I’ll stay.**

If she wanted me back so badly, then why did she run at all?

I tried to pinpoint what happened after that night that made it all change. We woke the next morning wrapped in each other’s arms, her legs draped over one of mine and her head curled into my shoulder. Her curtain of hair tickled my chest, and I was so hard, I was in physical pain.

I tried to stay still, but she shifted her leg so that her thigh grazed my erection, and I couldn’t stop myself from groaning, “Fuck me.”

Liv took it literally and proceeded to blow my mind. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do that morning, and we attempted things we’d never tried before and I never did with anyone else. Every time I thought I had her satisfied, she shifted to another position and kept going.

As I collapsed with her on the bed later that morning, I’d hoped that break would last longer than the short ones she’d allowed me between positions.

I pulled a rose petal from her hair and kissed the tip of her nose. “I have never been happier, Liv. This was amazing.”

As I looked back I realized that was the weekend she began to pull away. I wracked my brain to figure out why.

Suddenly it hit me. I’d told her “this” was amazing, and I’d meant the weekend, the time I spent with her. However, I know she didn’t hear it that way. Her eyes had narrowed, hurt evident in her face, and when I’d tried to ask why, she refused to answer me.

She thought I only wanted her body, that she didn’t matter to me anymore, that I didn’t need her unless she was going to service me.

_What a crock of shit!_

That brain of her had concocted all of this, and I sat stunned, feeling stupid I hadn’t figured it out before.

She’d never answered my question about moving in together except in an orgasmic induced cry of pleasure, but I assumed she meant it. Every time I brought it up after that, we fought, and I couldn’t figure out why.

She asked me to use the ties several times after her birthday and her requests became more and more risqué. Thinking she was growing more comfortable with me, I complimented her on her willingness to open up when, in reality, we’d never been farther apart.

How dare she think I’m so unfeeling, so uncaring, so selfish! I was anything but those things. I loved her desperately, and I was devastated when she left me. I’d made several rather silly decisions with regard to dating after she broke up with me, and I couldn’t believe I’d thought myself in love with any of them.

So, I had a decision to make, one that would impact my life perhaps forever.

I could respond to her text and tell her I wanted her back, invite her to meet me somewhere and rekindle what we used to have. I could do that because I know that’s what I really wanted.

Or I could go track her down, throw her over my shoulder, and carry her back to my room. Then I could tie her to the bed so she realized how serious I was about hating waking up alone. I could do that because it pissed me off that she refused to believe that I cared about her. She also never listened.

Or I could delete the message. I could delete the message and continue my life the way I had to after she left. I could delete the message and miss her, wonder about her, think about her. I could do that because I don’t think I could ever trust her again.

And I realized that’s really the problem. I can’t ever trust her again.

I hadn’t always made the smartest choices in relationships.

I dated some women who seemed to care but really wanted to be attached to my fame.

I adored a woman who pretended she was into me but really wanted someone else.

I fell for women who viewed me only as their friend.

I slept with women who lived too far away to be potential girlfriends.

I enjoyed the media linking my name with glamorous Hollywood stars.

I did all those things, and the woman I really wanted dumped me because of an irrational insecurity that didn’t even make any sense. There was no basis for it, no reason to believe that I loved her only because we had great sex.

And that finally convinced me.

There’s no way Liv would ever believe me again. There’s no way I could do enough or love her enough or say enough for her to accept what we had.

The crash of the waves on the beach brought me back to reality again. The scent of the ocean air cleansed my sinuses, and I felt my body release its tension. I took in the sprawl of beach-goers and caught a glimpse of two women situating themselves near a palm tree.

It was Liv and Kerrie, and I chuckled at their interaction. Liv had always been the goofy one, and she lived up to it by tripping over her shoes twice before she settled into her chair and opened her book. I saw her glance toward my hotel once, but there was no other indication that she was looking for me.

I pulled my phone from my pocket yet again and glanced at her text one last time.

**I want you back. If you want me, I promise next time I’ll stay.**

My finger moved over the screen as I remembered Liv’s tinkling laugh, her gorgeous mouth, and her sparkling eyes. Then I remembered the empty feeling when I woke up alone this morning, when I woke up in the middle of the night without her, when she broke my heart.

_Time to stop playing the fool, Josh._

With grim determination, I typed a reply.

**Sorry. You left one too many times.**

From my balcony, I watched her look at her phone, but she didn’t reply.

Swallowing my sadness, I deleted her text. Then I deleted her contact info.

I let go of the balcony railing and re-entered my hotel room for a drink. When I glanced at the spot she’d been earlier, Liv was gone.

Not even a beautiful beach in Hawaii could make her stay.


End file.
